Anyone who knows me agrees that relaxation isn’t my thing. I’m not ‘chill’. Even getting a massage, which I love, is an ordeal because I have no goal other than ‘relax’. To me, ‘relax’ is not a legitimate goal so it’s hard - harder than you think. I know I’m not alone in this.
I thought I was improving and learning to almost-relax. I thought I was beginning to conquer ‘laid back’. I bragged to a friend that after a particularly grueling day, I’d found some TV shows that had a million seasons, and I was watching from the beginning, probably dating back to 1956. This stuff is remarkably dated – but then, so am I. I boasted that I curled up on the couch, watched and dozed.
Not meaning to destroy my imagined progress toward the elusive state of ‘chill’, she asked in passing, “is it relaxation or just relief?”
Wow, go ahead and rain on my parade, but as I think about it, collapsing in front of the TV after a full, stressful day that begins at 6, may not be the best definition of relaxation. It might just be that I’m relieved to have gotten through most of my two-page list. The rest goes on tomorrow’s list, and then the list for the day after, until my scraps of paper run out. Maybe on my headstone, there should just be a giant checkmark.
Done!
Anyway, back to the concept about relaxing before that final nap. I refuse to be disappointed that I’m a poor relaxer. Instead, I’m going to rethink the concept. I’m going to ask Moveon.org to petition that “Relief is equal to Relaxation”. Elevating relief thumbs my nose at the yoga-loving, sound bath, walk in the woods, breathe, kale eating, sleep thru the night crowd. If I can’t be ‘chill’, maybe I can be ‘whew’.
It's time to review Not The Trip We Planned, even if you haven't read it. Don't let that small fact stop you from kvelling over the book. Go to Amazon or Goodreads. Since it was published, I've noticed inequities in authors vs characters. Authors are invited to give talks. Why don't characters give speeches? That's another petition. By the by, Maddy will be back next week... Stay tuned.